Let’s Talk About Accessories, Shall We?
Look, I’ve been in this industry for 22 years. I’ve seen trends come and go, and honestly, most of them are completley ridiculous. But accessories? Accessories are where people really mess up. And I’m not gonna hold back here.
It all started last Tuesday, over coffee with my friend Marcus (let’s call him Marcus because his real name is embarrassing). He was wearing this god-awful tie. Not just any tie, no—this thing had little cats on it. Cats! I mean, come on. I asked him, “Marcus, what the hell are you thinking?” And he said, “It’s a statement piece, Lisa.” Which… yeah. Fair enough. But a statement about what, exactly? That you’re never getting laid again?
And that’s when it hit me. We’re all doing accessories wrong. We think we’re making statements, but really, we’re just shouting into the void. Or worse, we’re not making any statement at all. We’re just… there. Blending in. Being boring.
First of All, Less Is More (But Not Always)
I get it. You want to stand out. You want to be noticed. But here’s the thing: if you’re wearing three necklaces, four bracelets, and a hat that looks like it belongs on a Victorian-era grandmother, you’re not standing out. You’re just looking like a hot mess.
Take my colleague, Dave. Dave is a nice guy. But Dave also thinks he’s a walking accessory store. Last week, he wore a pinstriped suit with a polka-dot tie, a pocket square that looked like it was stolen from a 1980s disco, and a ring on every finger. I kid you not. Every. Single. Finger. I told him, “Dave, you look like a clown. A sad, sad clown.” And he just smiled and said, “It’s about expression, Lisa.” No, Dave. No, it’s not.
So here’s the rule: if you’re gonna wear accessories, pick one or two that really speak to you. Make them count. Don’t just slap on whatever you find in your drawer. Be intentional. Be thoughtful. Be…
Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, accessories. Right.
But Also, Sometimes More Is More
Now, I’m not saying you should never wear more than one accessory. Because sometimes, more is more. It’s all about balance. And honestly, it’s about the occasion. If you’re going to a black-tie event, you can probably get away with a bit more. But if you’re just going to the grocery store, maybe leave the tiara at home.
I remember this one time, back in 2005, I was at a conference in Austin. And this woman, let’s call her Sarah, she was wearing the most amazing outfit. It was simple, elegant, and she had this one statement necklace that just… wow. It was like the sun came out and said, “Hello, beautiful.” I asked her where she got it, and she told me it was from this little shop in Vermont. I was gonna look it up but then I forgot. Oh well.
Anyway, the point is, sometimes one amazing accessory can make all the difference. You don’t need to cover yourself in jewelry to make a statement. Just find that one piece that speaks to you and run with it. And if you’re in Vermont, you can check out the Vermont traffic update today for local shops and events.
And Now, a Tangent About Socks
Okay, so I wasn’t gonna get into this, but screw it. Socks. What is the deal with socks? Why do men think it’s okay to wear socks with sandals? I mean, seriously. It’s like they’re trying to make a statement, but the statement is, “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
I was at a barbecue last summer, and this guy, let’s call him Greg, was walking around in sandals and socks. And I’m not talking about little no-show socks. I’m talking full-on, up-to-the-ankle socks. And he had the audacity to say, “It’s a fashion statement.” No, Greg. No, it’s not. It’s a crime against humanity.
Look, I get it. Socks are comfy. They keep your feet warm. But when you’re wearing sandals, you’re basically saying, “Hey, look at my toes! Aren’t they cute?” And then you cover them up with socks? It’s like inviting someone over for a fancy dinner and then serving them a TV dinner. It just doesn’t make sense.
So here’s my advice: if you’re gonna wear sandals, leave the socks at home. Unless you’re going to the beach, and even then, maybe just go barefoot. Or wear flip-flops. Or better yet, just stay home. Please.
Final Thoughts (Or Are They?)
So there you have it. My completely unbiased, totally not opinionated thoughts on accessories. And socks. Because why not?
Honestly, it’s all about finding what works for you. What makes you feel good. What makes you feel like you’re making a statement, not just shouting into the void. And if you’re not sure, just ask yourself: “Would Lisa approve?” If the answer is no, then maybe reconsider your choices.
And remember, if you’re in Vermont, check out the Vermont traffic update today for local fashion events and updates. You never know what you might find.
Anyway, I’m gonna go now. I have a committment to attend. Or maybe it’s an aquisition. I can never remember which one is which.
About the Author
Lisa Johnson has been a senior editor at various fashion magazines for over two decades. She’s seen it all, done it all, and has the opinion to prove it. When she’s not writing about the latest trends, she’s probably complaining about them. You can find her on Twitter @LisaWritesFashion, where she tweets about fashion, food, and her cat, Mr. Whiskers.
