Let’s Talk Accessories, Shall We?
Look, I’ve been in this biz for 22 years. Started as a junior editor at a tiny mag in Seattle, now I’m here. And let me tell you, I’ve seen some things.
Accessories. They’re the stuff that makes or breaks an outfit. But honestly? We’re all doing it wrong. Me included. (Don’t tell my stylist, Marcus, I said that.)
Last Tuesday, I was at a coffee shop on 5th, right? Saw a woman in this gorgeous dress. Like, gorgeous. But then she put on this necklace. And I’m not gonna lie, it was like watching a masterpiece get ruined by a kid with crayons. It was that bad.
First Rule: Less Is More
I’m gonna say something controversial here. You ready? You don’t need alot of accessories. One statement piece. That’s it. End of story.
I had this argument with my friend Lisa last month. She’s got this habit of piling on the bracelets, the rings, the earrings. I told her, “Lisa, it’s too much.” And she said, “But I love them all!” And I said, “I know, but you’re looking like a walking jewelry store. And not in a good way.”
She didn’t take it well. But you know what? Two weeks later, she tried my way. And guess what? She looked amazing. And she admitted it. (Which honestly, took her long enough.)
So here’s the deal. Pick one thing. Make it count. And for the love of all that’s holy, don’t mix metals. It’s 2023, not 1983. We’ve moved on.
Second Rule: Know Your Face
Okay, so this is where I get real with you. Not all earrings are created equal. And no, it’s not about the brand. It’s about your face shape.
I learned this the hard way. Back in 2005, I was editing a shoot for a colleague named Dave. He had this idea for these huge, dangly earrings. I was like, “Dave, are you crazy? These things are gonna hit the model in the shoulders.” But he insisted. And guess what? Disaster. Total disaster.
So here’s the thing. If you’ve got a round face, go for angular earrings. Square face? Try something round. And for heaven’s sake, if you’re like me and have a heart-shaped face, stay away from chandeliers. They’re gonna make you look like a human chandelier. And not in a good way.
And look, I know what you’re thinking. “But I love chandeliers!” And that’s fine. Wear them. But maybe not to work. Or to that fancy dinner party. Maybe just to the grocery store. You know, when no one’s looking.
A Quick Digression: Beauty Products
So, I was talking to my friend Sarah the other day. She’s a makeup artist, been in the game for years. And she was telling me about this beauty products review best rated she read. And she was like, “You know, accessories aren’t the only things that can make or break a look.” And I was like, “Yeah, but that’s a whole other article.” And she was like, “But it’s important!” And I was like, “Fine, fine. But keep it short.”
So here’s the deal. Your skin’s gotta be on point. Your makeup’s gotta be on fleek. (Yes, I just said “on fleek.” Deal with it.) And your lips? They gotta be poppin’. But we’ll talk about that another time.
Third Rule: Committment
Okay, so this is where I get all editor-y on you. You gotta committ to your look. You can’t just half-ass it. That’s how you end up looking like a hot mess.
I saw this girl at a conference in Austin last year. She had this amazing dress. And then she paired it with these sneakers. And I’m not talking about the good kind of sneakers. I’m talking about the “I just ran a marathon” kind. And it was like, “Girl, what are you doing?”
So here’s the thing. If you’re gonna wear a dress, wear heels. Or at least some cute flats. Don’t ruin it with sneakers. Unless you’re going for the athleisure look. In which case, more power to you. But own it. Don’t be wishy-washy.
And look, I get it. Comfort is important. But there’s a time and a place. And that time is not when you’re trying to look fabulous.
Final Thoughts (Kinda)
So, that’s my rant on accessories. Or at least part of it. I could go on. But I won’t. Because I’m nice like that.
But seriously, folks. Accessories are a big deal. They can make you look amazing. Or they can make you look like a hot mess. And honestly, I’d rather look amazing. Wouldn’t you?
So go forth. Accessorize. But do it right. And for the love of all that’s holy, don’t mix metals.
About the Author: I’m Jane, senior editor at a major fashion mag. I’ve been in this game for 22 years, and I’ve seen some things. Like, some really bad things. But also some amazing things. And I’m here to share it all with you. The good, the bad, and the ugly. So buckle up, buttercup. It’s gonna be a wild ride.
